Used with Permission www.grieftoolbox.com
Turning Loss to Legacy
Validations of Love
This forum is dedicated to all the bereaved who believe that their loved one who has died can somehow through various means give them a sign that their spirit survived death. In my workshops I have heard thousands of stories that support this phenomenon. In all cases those whom have experienced a sign find comfort knowing that their loved one lives on in another sphere of existence. This is an immeasurable catharsis for the grieving soul and validates their belief that love never dies. If you have experienced a posthumous message from a loved one please send your story for possible inclusion in this column.
Thank you, Mitch Carmody
Thank you to Darrin and Angie Niemeier for sharing their story about a sign they believe is from their young daughter Shayla, who died in 2007. This story is a classic example of a sign, where a deceased loved one communicates through a living creature with loved ones here on earth.
My husband, Darrin, and I were just at the TCF National Conference where we attended a couple of your workshops and a sharing session. First, let me just say that you moved both of us and your words were so very comforting. Our only daughter, Shayla, was 2 ½ years old when she passed away in January, 2007. Yesterday, as we were driving home from the conference we were discussing how you said that if you want a sign you just have to ask for one. We were discussing how sometimes we think something might be a sign but sometimes we are not sure. Darrin then asked for a sign from Shayla. He said he wanted Shayla to give him something that would be an obvious sign but he did not know what it could be.
Later, on our drive home, a commercial came on the radio about adopting cats from a pet refuge. Darrin and I then had a conversation about how I had wanted to get a cat for Shayla before she passed away. Darrin said that “Pee-Wee” (one of our many nicknames for Shayla) would not have wanted a cat. I asked him, "Did you ever ask her if she wanted a cat? Did she tell you she didn't want a cat?" Darrin said, “Well, no. I guess I didn't. I just knew that if I asked, she would say yes, and then we would have to get a cat.” That was about the end of our conversation and at that point we were almost home.
Yesterday was also Shayla's birthday. She would have been four-years-old. We went straight to the cemetery when we got home to meet some of our family there and release balloons for Shaylas’ birthday. When we got to the cemetery and got out of the car our two nieces were there and they started yelling at us, "Darrin, Angie look there is a cat here!" Darrin's brother was there first, by himself. He said he was sitting there waiting and this little white cat just showed up on Shayla's grave and was just laying there. The cat stayed there and would just walk around and then lay back down on her grave again. The cat let us pet her and she was there the entire time that we were there. This really meant a lot to us, especially since it happened on her birthday. Thanks for taking the time to read this letter.
Darrin and Angie Niemeier Kansas City, MO
Her Birthday Kitty
Untouched Photos in the upper photo the glow just showed up on film.
This photo was taken months after a little girl died. The photo was taken at a ballet recital she was supposed to be at. She showed up in the background wearing her Tu Tu and casting a shadow from the light in doorway.
This story below sent in by Jeff's Mom gfclearly reflects the phenomenon of a visitation of spirit that can happen in that half sleep half awake state.
Hi - I have something to add that has happened to me that I have taken as "signs", although I do not know from which of my family members that have died that it would be from (although I desperately want it to be from my son who died in 2000) or why or what do they mean?? I have tried to find the "reason" for what happened, as illogical as any of my explanations sound to me, but the only answer that I come up with is that God has allowed these "signs" for me, although certainly not ones that I would have chosen, as it still leaves me wondering and very confused...
About six months ago, I was sitting in the family room reading when, out of the blue, the washing machine in the laundry room starting its cycle...This was not programmed in as a delay start, as this feature isn't on my washing machine. I had washed clothes much earlier in the day. I had forgotten about them...at least until they started washing again. This is an isolated incident. The washing machine is less than 5 years old and works perfect (before and since then). My husband and I are the only ones that live in the house....There really is no explanation....He is an electrician, so I thought he could give me some electrical reason....he could not... this was very emotional for me, and I could not stop crying. I didn't think much more about this after a few days and wrote it off as being a sign from my son, Jeff, but what it meant I have yet to understand.
The next incident/sign happened a few months later...I was upstairs in my office, home alone this time, when I heard something coming from downstairs...once again, this sent a rush of adrenalin through me, because you don't expect it when your house is quiet. It was in the afternoon, my husband was at work, and I had not been outside, so the house alarm was still set, meaning no one in the house but me...I called my sister and, while I was on the phone with her, went downstairs to see what it was...it was the dishwasher starting a wash cycle. I had not loaded or unloaded the dishwasher that day...There were clean dishes in it from the day before.......I told her it must be Jeff...is it Jeff?? Why the dishwasher? What kind of a sign is that from a 16 year old boy for his mother...
Anyway, these were the only two "out-of-the-ordinary" things that have happened in my house that I am aware of. Only my husband and I have lived in this house....I wonder what I am to discern from this...
Last, but not least, there was one other occurrence that happened a little over 5 years ago, that was much more plausible to me. My husband and I lived with my sister and brother-in-law when we moved from California to Ohio while our house was being built...I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the outline of a "person", like what you see when they sketch a body in chalk at a crime scene, but it was completely filled in. The "figure" was so bright, glowing, very white, illuminating, shining, and solid...there were no clothes, no hair, no features..."it" went sideways along the entire length of the wall in the bedroom, like a gliding type of walk, like an Egyptian figure in a picture...The figure had a sound to it, noisy like a buzzing sound, like what you would hear from a fluorescent light when you turn it on...At first, my hand went across to reach for my husband, but I wasn't scared, and I didn't even wake him up. I could not take my eyes off of this...Even though it was seconds, it seemed to last?? Since I had absolutely no fear, I know it was an angel. I laid there for a while thinking about it being my son and wondering what it all meant...I wasn't sad at all...it didn't scare me....I eventually went back to sleep and didn't even tell anyone until the next morning. I can see this in my mind so clear like it just happened today....I have never before seen anything like this in my 51 years of life and never again since that one time....
Thanks for letting me share,
This story below is a very powerful story of a real near death experience as told directly from the woman who experienced it.
My name is Anya. Some time ago, I think it was the summer, you sent me a Facebook request to be Friends.firstname.lastname@example.org
Today I was inspired to check out your website. This inspiration falls under the category… all things in its time!
Loss of a loved one is devastating to be sure. It can literally stop your life in its tracks. It leaves a hole inside you that you don’t think will ever see light again. I really don’t need to tell you or your readers the depths of pain because we are here and we have experienced it or are experiencing it.
Today I smile when I think of the beloved souls I have lost and thought I could never live without in my life. Mitch, if you will allow me, I would like to tell my story on how I got to this place in my life.
In most people’s lives there is a person or several people who they can define as saviors. These are people who take an interest, or guide you, or are there for you in some aspect. These saviors can be defined by you as your life line. They are the ones who you look forward to being in the presence of, because they make your life shine. Life is fun and bright… life is more pleasurable, meaningful, purposeful... life is simply, worth living when they are around.
For me that was my grandmother, my aunt and my uncle. Grannie, Emmie and Duff lived a distance from us. It was only during my summer holidays that I was allowed to go visit them. What can I say… it was two weeks of sheer heavenly bliss for me. Those two weeks, revitalized, re-energized and gave me an overall sense of worthiness about myself. To make a long story short… it was the power of three and the time spent with them that got me through the other fifty weeks of the year.
Between my sixteenth year and my twenty second year all three had died. Grannie was the last to go. It was then that I fell to the floor crying hysterically. God had just ripped out my heart. Looking towards the heavens I asked God, “Why? Why would he take everyone I loved… everyone that truly loved me, away? Why would he leave me all alone?”
My dynamic duo taught me, even as a child, that when people pass over their souls stay with you even though the physical embodiment of them ceases to exist. This lesson was not comforting. Like everyone else I went into a state of depression. Rock bottom was wanting to kill myself to be with them.
I lived on automatic pilot for two years, until the birth of my second child. With one look at my son a veil lifted, I had a reason to live and love and get out of bed in the morning.
Seeing this is the condensed Readers Digest version… years past, life went on reasonably “normal”… a few bouts of depression but nothing to get excited about.
It is now December 4, 1992. I have been off work for the past week due to “anxiety attacks.” Today when I woke I was feeling better than I have in a year. The weather report on the radio says it is the coldest day of the year but in spite of the freezing rain during the night the roads are clear thanks to the township.
As I’m looking out my window I am in awe at the ice cycles hanging from the tree branches and the colors dancing from the coat of ice on the grass. It is time I got out of the house. The plan is to do grocery shopping then pick the kids up at school and treat them to an evening out.
Driving down our long street to the main thruway was clear but black ice is hard to see and not uncommon. In spite of my caution, at the intersection I found myself sliding under the wheels of an eighteen wheeler. The transport literally ran over me.
Simultaneously I felt a presence course through my body radiating absolute Peace and Serenity, Lovingly cradling me as you would comfort a baby. I was not alone.
A remarkable phenomena followed, it was as though my life was a movie and I was playing out my role frame by frame, very slowly. The total acceptance of my death brought about yet another miracle, the absence of fear and pain.
"It is time to come home, Anya."
With those words, a white tube of light surrounding me, penetrating throughout my being. Like an elevator of sorts, I was ascended upwards at the speed of light.
A little disorientated I stood in the color blue, Caribbean Sea Blue, only more, much more. As though the color were alive its vibrancy and energy encompassed me. The feeling of absolute Love, and Oneness overshadowed any lingering preceding dispositions. Becoming more aware of my surroundings, I observed what appeared to be sparks of light, much like a firefly, hurrying by. It was then I began to dodge these brilliant luminescent glows, only to realize I was now one of them, I was home. With this awareness She once again spoke, "You are welcome Anya. Come with me."
In a blink of an eye I was surrounded in a fog of white. As I became more accustomed to the change of energies my vision sharpened. Before me sat The Group of Seven in a semi circle, behind them, God.
For twelve minutes I was clinically dead.
It is because of my life altering experience and exchange with God that I now look at death not as devastating or painful or leaving an emptiness inside but rather a Celebration.
I celebrate knowing the place they are in is unbelievably more Loving. Take the greatest love you can imagine and times it by one thousand and you still will not come anywhere near the loving vibration of the other side.
I celebrate knowing our loved one’s pain no longer exists. Returning home means you return to your highest state of wholeness.
Today I close my eyes and call my loved ones to me. I feel Emmie’s hand stroking my hair. I feel my Grannie standing in front of me smiling and touching my face. I see and smell Duff smoking his pipe and telling me, “Way to go.” with two thumbs up.
Our loved one’s are only a thought away… when they pop into our minds or our conversations, they are saying hi. When a memory flashes by they are telling us they are with us. Honor them, Celebrate them by living your Best Life, a life full of love, grace, forgiveness and peace.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Smile… its all good! Anya
As wiil apperar in-Living with Loss Magazine
Attached is the picture of Mitchell's tree that we planted in our front yard in honor of him. He was born & died on May 18, 2000 when I was 29 weeks along. The picture was taken in 2005 in early morning and we haven't seen the sun shine on his tree like that since.
God bless you and all the work you do for all the grieving families that are looking for hope!!
This photo above was sent in anonymously but taken the day her father died. If you look closely you can see the image of Christ's face in the clouds very similar to the shroud of Turin image.
We met in Nashville at the TCF National conference this last summer 2008 when I attended your first presentation. My wife Tracy and I are from DeSoto, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. We stopped and talked to you several times after the initial presentation. We asked later if the national organization reacted favorably to "Whispers of Love" as we found many people in some higher positions encouraged us to find other, more practical, presentations. We didn't listen and found it the best we heard in the three days; when we walked into the seminar that first day and saw the crowds, we knew we had made a good decision (even if we had to stand for about 30 minutes). Then we heard the story. What a wonderful way to start our first conference only a year after Sean died.
Now, to the point, two days ago, I had a very disturbing "Whisper"; disturbing because I'm so technical, somewhat scientific and definitely a realist. But, what happened to me was so powerful and unexplainable that I know it was Sean just letting us know he's still there for us.
I wanted to tell you we've had two "can't happen", "technically impossible" and "aw, come on" moments. The latest was the most dramatic impact.
At noon on Wednesday of last week, I was at work in my home office and my wife, Tracy, was at her computer in another part of the house. The home phone rang and the Caller ID was xxx-xx2-3899. I thought that was a familiar number as I was answering it. Nobody was there as I said hello several times so I called out to Tracy and asked, "What was Sean's cell phone number?” She responded by putting the numbers together finally, "xxx-xx2-3899". She wondered why I had asked and looked at the Caller ID on the screen of a phone near her and saw the number.
When Sean was killed last year in the auto accident, we took the SIM Card out of his destroyed phone and put it in my old Motorola Razr just like the one he had. We never cancelled the service as, first, we just couldn't bring ourselves to cancel it, and, second, it left his phone open for his friends to send text messages and leave voice messages for him on his birthday and anniversary of his death. The phone sits closed in one of those beautiful mahogany charging stations and is rarely taken off the charger.
Now, because of the call, I'm a little shaken and went quickly to his cell phone. Tracy was still nowhere near it. I opened the phone and pressed the keys to bring up the "dialed calls" list. At the top, at 12:01 pm, was a call from his phone to "Home". Now, I really am shaken. I'm a realist and deal with things somewhat scientifically. This just wasn't "right" and couldn't be "explained". Tracy was more calm and just said she was taking it as a sign that Sean was just letting us know he was still around.
Scientifically, it could NOT happen! But, I do know it did happen and I am more accepting now that some days have passed. I even took pictures of the Caller ID screen on several of the home phones and a picture of the "Dialed Calls" screen on the cell phone.
It was what it was - a "Whisper of Love".
About a month ago, I was working at my computer in another office in my home. I had recently assembled a new, faster, more powerful desktop to compliment my laptop. That new computer was sitting on a table about 15 feet to the side and behind me. That computer is one of the more modern with an exotic power saving feature that will idle the computer based on heat, time since last used and power usage. It had been idle for hours. I was working on my laptop and I use Windows Vista and on the right side of my desktop is a small function that plays pictures of Sean. Most of the time, I can handle it being there. That day, it just overwhelmed me and I started crying. I was crying so hard I just had to stand up and get away from the computer. So, I turned my back and stepped away from the desk. I found myself looking at the table with the new desktop. Suddenly it came to life, the windowed cabinet glowing blue as it started up. The screen came to life, not in a Windows desktop, but with pictures of Sean playing in a slide show. Yes, I have pictures of Sean on the computer. Yes, I have a program that can play them in a slide show. But, later, when I tried to replicate so I had an explanation; it took four screens to get to it. And, that's with the computer on and running.
With it in "sleep" mode, it only comes back on with a screen to enter a password. And, yet, it came up> with> a slide show of his pictures fifteen feet away from where I was standing. Sure, I feel that it was Sean, or maybe God, telling me it was OK to cry. Or, maybe it was a message to tell me that he was OK. But, it happened and I just accepted it. So, lately, there have been two dramatic "Whispers of Love" and Tracy even got to experience the second with me. I only wish now that I had the stability to tell him over the phone how much I love him and miss him. I know I wouldn't hear a voice, but I wish I had enough composure to just take a few minutes and talk to him. Instead, I hung up and I regret that. But,> it was just a reaction when "there was no one there".
Thanks for listening.
Ross McBride, Sean’s Dad
OUTGOING CALL FROM SEAN'S CELL PHONE
INCOMING CALL TO MOM AND DAD'S LAND LINE
These two stories are clearly an example of modern technology that has been used as an avenue for signs from loved ones whom have died. Boys are notorious for using electrical devices. I have heard many other cell phone, computer, radio, television incidents that support this. As with lights blinking etc. it’s the use of energy sources. Energy does not die in only changes form.
Our kids, our loved ones use what they know that will get our attention that we will recognize as coming from them. Once we are “aware” of an avenue for spirit to present itself and believe that it is possible they our psyche is open to that reality. We cannot undo knowledge. Our children then have another option, another resource available to them to communicate to us. We have to learn to be aware and not dismiss it as irrational or just a coincidence.
I never received or found any “special moment pennies” until I learned about their possibility, now I find them often. I never had orbs in photos until I was aware of their possibility. Now I have orbs quite often show up in special moment photos. I have looked at photos 20 years back and have found not one orb. Once I was aware of them in 2002 I have dozens of photos with orbs showing up.
Years ago we would hear of Poltergeist activity of restless spirits flinging pots and pans around, things falling off shelves, doors slamming, lights going off. This phenomenon was sensationalized and characterized as scary unhappy spirits haunting those of us left behind.
Those things did happen and they happen now but it is only our loved ones trying to say hi, that they are okay, that they love us. They use what is at their disposal to get our attention. It is the fear of the unknown that frightens us. We should be embracing their attempts to reach us not run from them. True evil manifests itself in the living not the dead. There are no scary ghosts, only angels seeking hugs. Accept them, call to them, watch for them, and acknowledge them. This is not a Hollywood film or a national inquirer spotlight, this is real phenomenon happening to real people and it’s of a Divine nature and is there for our healing. Embrace it, it can change the whole perception of your grief journey and bring peace to your hearts and you find validation that love truly never dies. This can even deepen your spiritual or religious beliefs.
I reference to Ross’s story and Sean’s cell phone, it seems now that I have hard evidence of this type of phenomenon it then happened to me. I am still dumbfounded by it all. I think Ross’s cell phone incident is a phenomenal one and hard to explain. Yesterday I heard a call on my cell phone, I had just got home from work and did not want answer it. Later I checked my voicemail to see who had called. The call had left a voice mail but was only about 15 seconds of static and then a definite hang up sound. I looked to see who had called. It listed Bill G, a new employee of mine at work who called at 3:57 PM. I thought it odd he did not leave a message so I called him back and asked what he had wanted. He said “I never called you”. I said yes you did it’s on my phone and a blank message was left at 3:59, I don’t care that you hung up, but what’s up, why did you call?
He said his phone had been in his pocket closed up and had not used it at all in the past couple hours. I had him check his phone, and he was speechless to find his phone had called mine at 3:57 PM. He does not even have my number on speed dial and it was closed up tight in his pocket.
I too have no explanation for this event. The employee of mine whom I just hired is my best friend’s oldest son and he had known my son when they were both kids. My son Kelly must have used Bill’s phone to contact me, knowing that I would dig into it and figure it out. Bill was blown away, especially after I told him about Sean’s phone call. I had never told him about it. There is no explanation and there does not have to be one, like trying to comprehend that there is no end to the universe, it hurts my brain to try. I guess that is what Faith is all about.
Be open, expect miracles, they happen.
Mitch November 6, 2008